"Bad ideas" from #sporkhack

• A spork named Houchou. When you throw it at a monster and it hits, you receive a message "The spork named Houchou bounces off the monster's (body_part). What did you expect, anyway?"
• Polymorphing an artifact gives you a different artifact
• Cursed scrolls of mail might have a virus in them, causing you to become "deathly sick"
• (blank) gnomes. this includes but is not limited to armor gnomes, underpants gnomes, and porn gnomes
• Rewrite nethack in PASCAL
• Falling artifact traps
• Mimic race
• Player dismemberment due to HP loss
• Robot Terminator zombies with lightsabers
• Add more puke
• Wielding a forked wand and walking near water will produce YAFM: "The wand twitches!"
• Partial disintegration rules should include hand-loss from exploding/imploding bags
• Excessively detailed death messages
• Oompa-loompas
• Bunnies and great big iron cauldrons
• NPC orcs should have a 50% chance, upon wielding a non-orcish bladed weapon, of being confused about which end is sharp.
• "Cloak of many pockets", AC depends on weight and material of the items in the pockets, which can be accessed only when worn.
• Engraving Owlbreath should anger Elbereth, with a small chance of her missing you and zotting any monsters around you; elves should be smart enough to flee from an engraving of Owlbreath
• Nekomancer class, centered around the use of felines; begins with "spellbook of create harbl"; pantheon is Ceiling Cat (lawful), Lime Cat (neutral), and Longcat (Chaotic)
• rocket launchers and quad damage
• Lloyd's Beacon
• "You see here a scroll labeled HASTUR HASTUR HASTUR."
• black DSM --> passive disintegration
• 1/100 chance, upon hitting a monster with a war hammer, that it is confused, with the message "Stop! Hammer time!"
• A new monster: A black hole. It's a black "v" which sucks monsters and items towards it
• A new monster: A white hole. It's the same thing, but with lower CHA, plus it can't jump or rap
• (W)ear a blank scroll to make it into a three-cornered hat, which adds d5-3 (random from -2 to +2) to your CHA for all effects based on your CHA (like conflict)
• "half of a $monster corpse" object, byproduct of Tsurugi action. "You see here 2 halves of a shopkeeper." Also heads and bodies for Vorpy.
• potion of wow wow sauce
• mistletoe, which allows you to charm foocubi and nymphs
• festivus poles
• New monster/item: Roomba
• Upper-half-of-the-room cleaning robot
• New tin food types: salted and mashed food
• Change the "Satiated" indicator on the status line to "Must Poop!"
• badgers and mushrooms
• protection monkey
• Pokeballs.
• Have "detect foot" make funnier messages when near or polymorphed into a centipede.
• A "Dance Dance Revolution" level.
• New monster: domo-kun